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November 24, 2010 / Lindsey Davis

Darby, you’re a whole digit!

Darby

You are one year now!  The day you were born was one of the best days of our lives.  I’m going to do my best to review this year with you, sweet girl.  And you are sweet, Darby.  Such an incredible blessing to your Mommy & Daddy.

The day you were born you came out screaming!  The nurses tried to weigh you right away but they couldn’t hear each other above your heart-wrenching cries.  I laughed out loud and then held you to my chest and I was so swollen with love I thought I would burst.  I did my best to comfort you but the change from womb to world was too overwhelming.  I was elated and terrified because you were ours and there was no turning back.  You were  gorgeous, so beautiful and holding you was like holding my heart.*  Your Grandma, Grandpa & Go Grammy waited anxiously for your arrival outside the room (and your name, we kept that a surprise!) — you had taken your time and if I could imagine, if I could guess, you resisted the process with everything you had.  But there was too much love waiting for you.  Some of mommy’s dearest friends came to visit you.

 

When we brought you home we dressed you in a white gown with pink rosebuds and it makes me want to cry just thinking of how it swallowed your tiny body.  You curled up your legs and hands inside it so that I could not find them to put you in the car seat.   Your daddy buckled you up and I knew he was a natural right then and there — we are two very lucky girls, Darby, because your Daddy is one of a kind.  Pride could not escape his smile, which he gives about as generously as you.  When we pulled up to our house your Grandma, Grandpa & Go Grammy were waiting inside with dinner simmering, candles burning & “Blueberry Hill” playing in the background — the first song on a CD “For Darby” made with careful love by your Uncle Grady.  Outside, our porch was adorned with pumpkins & beautiful mums and a sweet pink bow signaling to our street, our world, that you were coming home.

During one of our nightly visits (we had many) I listened to a message by Matt Chandler where he referred to infants as a “beautiful nightmare”.  Baby, I hope that doesn’t hurt your feelings…..but the first few months were hard on both of us!  We tried so hard to figure each other out and your daddy was there every step of the way.   While much of the world was peacefully asleep, I watched videos promising miracles and read books on how to master you as you swung in a pink swing with butterflies howling with your eyes closed because you were so tired but sleep would not come.  I swaddled you for the one hundredth time but you were Houdini and would not be caged.  We were quite a pair. 

Things changed quickly; you changed quickly.  I tried to keep up, and as the days & nights started to become separate entities again I regained some sanity and you cooed and smiled and sang sweet songs that filled me with joy.   We took a class together and I realized I needed to get you out of the house more often!  You observed every mother & child in that class so astutely, without a smile, and miraculously, without a sound.   At four months you were so happy.  I think you decided you liked us.   

Months 4-7 I thought I had things figured out.  I would rock you in your chair and read you books and you smiled and turned the pages like you’d been doing it for years.  I had dinner ready when your daddy got home, a clean house & even learned how to sew.  But then you started crawling and bedtimes changed and again, I realized how much you and I are alike even though your face is your Daddy’s.   You were always giving me a hard time with naps but you played, and when you started getting your legs stuck constantly between the slats of the crib and yelling for dear life for me to come rescue you I realized a video monitor was a necessity.  So we got one and now I know your tricks and I see myself in you every time you get hyper when it’s time to lie down. 

You quickly wanted to walk, for crawling was mastered and boring.  Mommy’s finger did the trick so for 3 months I walked you around the house and your favorite activity was an index finger and any one of those would do.  You grew steady very quickly but letting go wasn’t an option and you made your opinions quite clear on that matter.  You adore your Monkey and we do too, for it is your first Lovie and those can never be matched.  

And now…you do not need my finger anymore and swat it away reminding me that change is inevitable and “letting go” is part of growing up.   You love sitting in shopping carts and when I stroll you through the aisles of JoAnn’s you hold out your hand to feel each fabric as we pass by.  You still have a serious disposition but love attention and when it is lavished you delight in it fully.  You love music and love to dance; we appropriately call it your shimmy.  It gets me every time.  You are actually sleeping better than you ever have!   You are cautious, but on the playground you are adventurous and daring, attempting to climb up slides and master the steps on your own.   We take walks together up and down the sidewalks in our neighborhood and you charm each passerby and stand completely still when you hear a dog bark or a bird chirp.  You give pause to the acorns and leaves and you take time to consider which ones you will clutch in your hand for the remainder of the walk.  Your favorite will make it all the way back to our house.  Two days ago you said “dog” and I know it was your first word, I am sure. 

Darby you have taught me so much.  We have prayed many things for you & about you, but I think a constant theme for this first year is for you to one day know that you are wonderfully created by your Father in heaven (Psalm 139).   For if you were not created what purpose is there?  No, you were not by chance, even though the world will try to convince you otherwise.  We are entrusted with you now but our love is not perfect.  I’m sure by this time next year you will understand that quite clearly {wink}!  But in fact, you have a Heavenly Father, who does love you most perfectly and he created you purposefully (Ephesians 2:8-10) & clothed you with strength and dignity (Proverbs 31:25) & crowned you with glory and honor (Psalm 8:5). These are truths that can never be taken from you.   His love is never-failing, always the same yesterday today & tomorrow (Hebrews 13:8).

Happy First Birthday, dear Darby!  Your Mommy & Daddy are so proud to be your parents.

* I wrote this line in part from quote I heard by Elizabeth Stone:  “Making the decision to have a child is momentus.  It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”

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2 Comments

Leave a Comment
  1. Erynn / Nov 27 2010 1:18 am

    Oh, melt me. So sweet Linds. Love this.

  2. sara / Dec 2 2010 9:20 am

    Oh mama, you inspire my heart. So sweet to see how sweet Darby has captured your heart!

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