Tagged

What does this even mean?  I was tagged by Erynn Shipley which I learned means that I have to address the things that she addressed in her blog.  At least I think that’s it!  She has so many things on there that I just cannot do it all but here’s good enough.

5 things i can do

1.  go 3 days without washing my hair using baby powder & other important life sustaining products

2. find a good deal

3. cook a whole chicken and even eat it when it’s done (i used to to think cooking a whole chicken with bones & skin & everything was an indication of adulthood)

4. organize large events (now this has only come about while working for a church – I used to never even have people over to my house so I have come a long way:)

5.  last but not least i can type really quickly

5 things i cannot do

1. a standing full

2. whistle a real tune – i can whistle but only at one pitch

3.  climb a mountain – mostly because i do not even want to.  one i went rock climbing indoors and i had special shoes & everything & i was not EVEN close to good.

4. cry on demand but believe you me, I can cry with the best of ‘em if so naturally led.

5. hold a snake or other animals that put me into a cataleptic state.

 

5 things i say most often

1. anyhoo

2. i love it so much

3.  home again, home again, jiggidy jog

4.  grrrrrrrrr……..

5.  Juuuuuud!

5 things that attracted me to my husband

1.  his kindness & overall character – he’s a stud

2. he’s hot

3. he cooks

4.  when he drives his truck sometimes he will take his shoes off and sing at the top of his lungs and that is when i know he is happy and feeling himself.  it is the real deal and sometimes i just have to smile to myself so that i don’t break the moment.  i love it so much.

5.  his swallow – he doesn’t do this as much anymore but he does this swallow thing that lets me know he is at peace & very content.  it’s the best thing in the world, especially if i get the idea that i have anything to do with it.

PS – he’s probably going to kill me for writing this and no, that is not part of his character to kill me but you know what i mean.

If dreams came true

So the past few nights have been filled with some fairly traumatic, weird yet funny dreams, but the kicker came yesterday morning when one of them ACTUALLY came true.

The night before last I dreamed that there was a priest at the Catholic church down the street from where we live that happened to be our realtor.  When I parked in the parking lot @ the church, I was greeted and attacked by an enormous crow and so I never was able to meet with my realtor-priest.  I won’t bore you with anymore details about the dream but basically the crow would not get off my back & then my friend threw up in Galveston and after that 12 year old boys were throwing rocks at me & my car.

8am yesterday morning I had a breakfast with some other people on my team @ Watermark and bunch of ministry leaders all over the city to talk about social justice issues.  I sat next to my co-worker Erynn and on the other side of me was an older gentleman. We started talking & as he turned his head, I caught a glimpse of his priestly neck (I can’t remember what you call it).  I said to him, “Are you a priest?”  He replied, “Yes, I am. “  I said, “Where?”  He replied, “Holy Trinity on Oaklawn.”  I totally lost all concentration and told him my dream.  By now the entire table is listening.  That is when I looked him in the eye & put my hand on his shoulder & said, “Are you a realtor?”  To which he replied, “Well…yes, I am!”

OK, just kidding about the last part.  He’s not a realtor.  But isn’t that crazy?  The guy next to him turned to me sharply so in my prophetic state of mind I asked him also if he was a realtor but he put his hands up & said “No, I’m a Methodist preacher!”  Jeez.

Here’s a picture of the church

Cynthia Sylvia Stout

Some of you who grew up reading Shel Silverstein are already saying in your creative little minds that there should be a Sarah before Cynthia.  But alas!  The whole reason I’m writing this is because there is a new shampoo made by Lush that is actually called CYNTHIA SYLVIA STOUT.  I wonder why they left Sarah off…too long perhaps.  I was telling my husband about this new finding a couple of nights ago & read the poem aloud to him.  It was difficult to recite with dramatic appeal with all the alliteration!

Since I grew up on A Light in the Attic and Where the Sidewalk Ends, the shampoo brought back really great memories.  I even went to Lush to get a sample…what’s funny is the shampoo looks like liquid garbage & has a funny smell! In case you’re confused, I’m pasting the poem below.  Little Ms. Stout would not take the garbage out.

Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout
Would not take the garbage out!
She’d scour the pots and scrape the pans,
Candy the yams and spice the hams,
And though her daddy would scream and shout,
She simply would not take the garbage out.
And so it piled up to the ceilings:
Coffee grounds, potato peelings,
Brown bananas, rotten peas,
Chunks of sour cottage cheese.
It filled the can, it covered the floor,
It cracked the window and blocked the door
With bacon rinds and chicken bones,
Drippy ends of ice cream cones,
Prune pits, peach pits, orange peel,
Gloppy glumps of cold oatmeal,
Pizza crusts and withered greens,
Soggy beans and tangerines,
Crusts of black burned buttered toast,
Gristly bits of beefy roasts. . .
The garbage rolled on down the hall,
It raised the roof, it broke the wall. . .
Greasy napkins, cookie crumbs,
Globs of gooey bubble gum,
Cellophane from green baloney,
Rubbery blubbery macaroni,
Peanut butter, caked and dry,
Curdled milk and crusts of pie,
Moldy melons, dried-up mustard,
Eggshells mixed with lemon custard,
Cold french fried and rancid meat,
Yellow lumps of Cream of Wheat.
At last the garbage reached so high
That it finally touched the sky.
And all the neighbors moved away,
And none of her friends would come to play.
And finally Sarah Cynthia Stout said,
“OK, I’ll take the garbage out!”
But then, of course, it was too late. . .
The garbage reached across the state,
From New York to the Golden Gate.
And there, in the garbage she did hate,
Poor Sarah met an awful fate,
That I cannot now relate
Because the hour is much too late.
But children, remember Sarah Stout
And always take the garbage out!Shel Silverstein, 1974

Ragamuffin

Have you read The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning? I just borrowed it from a friend that suggested I needed a little does of grace in my life.  I guess we all do, but I’m grateful that whatever she heard in my rantings made her think to suggest it.  There is a quote from Thomas Merton in the book that says “A saint is not someone who is good but who experiences the goodness of God.”  I really like that even though I know for sure I don’t understand everything it means. Right before that quote Manning says “To live by grace means to acknowledge my whole life story, the light side and the dark. In admitting my shadow side I learn who I am and what God’s grace means.” 

I am a leader in a ministry called Celebrate Recovery at our church which is a Biblical 12-step program that includes a “fearless moral inventory”. I have worked the 12 steps, admitting my “shadow side” and thereby experienced grace abounding all the more in my life.  But what is so interesting to me is that I still try to cover up so much of what I think is unbearable for God and others to see.  Though my words would claim I believe in a gracious, loving God, my actions and emotions often betray me. 

I am only on Chapter 3 but I love this book and can’t wait to hear more of Manning’s story.  He states that people often ask him how he became an alcoholic after he was saved.   He answers, “It is possible because I got battered and bruised by loneliness and failure, because I got discouraged, uncertain, guilt-ridden and took my eyes of Jesus. Because the Christ-encounter did not transfigure me into an angel.  Because justification by grace through faith means I have been set in right relationship with God, not made the equivalent of a patient etherized on a table.”

When I became a believer of Jesus Christ, it was not difficult to acknowledge that I was a sinner, and I trusted God with my salvation because I could clearly see that in no way I could save myself.  But somehow along the way I stopped trusting Him to take me just as I am.  Without consciously doing so, I began developing rules for myself to keep my “goodness” in check.  Break them and feel terrible – keep them and feel good. 

I really like the reminder that it isn’t about being good.  It is about experiencing the goodness of God.  And I supposed that cannot be realized until we consciously acknowledge our “shadow sides” to Him.  I really want to know Him more, to experience His grace and to extend that grace all the more to others around me.  I am thankful that He used the ashes in Brennan Manning’s life to create a book like this.  I wonder if you can recommend a book you just started.

Advent Conspiracy

To find out more about the Advent Conspiracy click here.

Goma

Pray for the people of Goma, Congo and the surrounding areas today.  It’s been turbulent for many years but friends there are reporting that the situation has gotten very bad in the last few days.  As always it does not appear that there is a simple reason for the increased violence and fighting.  There is currently an uprising of people against MONUC, the United Nations peace-keeping mission in Congo, who think that they (UN) are doing nothing to protect them.  Many are trying to flee but cannot at this point.  Pray for wisdom and courage for Martin Nzabanita as he leads his family along with dozens of orphans he is caring for.  Also pray for protection for the ALARM staff as well.

Just when you thought you had it all…

The Election Day Advent Calendar - Dad…you know you want it.

I Like Mice

OK not really but well…kind of! I know you’ve all been on pins & needles waiting for my next post & wondering why I’ve been MIA lately but I have a good excuse.  Judson & I have been in Boston with my mom & dad.  Several months ago Judson and I planned this trip and found a great website that recommended renting an apartment instead of getting a hotel.  So I checked a couple of different places & found what I thought was the steal of the century on Boylston Street in an incredible location in Boston.  We flew into Boston about 2 hours before my parents so we were the first to arrive and after lugging our suitcases & backpacks several blocks we were thrilled to see our place tucked in between the cutest shops & restaurants we could have imagined.  We couldn’t wait to see what it looked like even though we’d seen pictures online.  So…we picked up the key & proceeded to spend about 5 minutes trying to unlock the door to the wrong apartment – we called & after about 15 minutes they told us that they were reassigning us to another apartment. Finally we arrive to the right apartment with the right key and boy did we…as soon as we walked in I saw something scurrying down the wall & I totally freaked out.  I let Judson fend for himself while I ran to the back bedroom. After realizing that this was in fact a rodent that we couldn’t live with for the week, we called & let them know we were moving on.  Needless to say it was definitely not the start to the trip I’d planned in my mind but my very resourceful husband remembered that the Boston Public Library was a block away, so we we hurried out the apartment with all our luggage and burst through the BPL doors looking for internet access.  After about 45 minutes we were able to Priceline a hotel!  We got a cab and when we arrived we couldn’t believe our luck…honestly the hotel was fabulous!  We couldn’t have been more happy and relieved.  There was a subway stop right outside as well and two of the most amazing restaurants right across the street…with THE best Boston Cream Pie I’ve ever tasted.  I miss you already BCP.

I think Boston is one of my favorite cities of all time.  I loved the history, the quaint neighborhoods, the trendy shopping & the incredible seafood.   The public transportion is one of the best I’ve ever experienced and the Public Garden was story book.  Here are some pics:

The view outside our hotel - Marriott Long Wharf.

Dad giving a peace sign that became the classic symbol for the trip. It's new...I'm not sure where he picked it up. But I don't think he could have been happier if the founding fathers themselves had actually been present!

Gorgeous view of Boston from the Charles River. Did you know that the saying "You're Fired!" became the term for being laid off when Mr. Ford himself set one of his worker's desks on fire? It's true. I heard it first-hand on the Charles River boat tour.

Judson enjoying the water & the view. This was taken right outside the JFK Library & Museum. This was one of my favorite museum experiences! Watching the tape of JFK & Nixon debating gave me goose bumps.

Washington Monument in the Public Garden - amazing!

Walking down the streets of Beacon Hill was picturesque.

Only about 10% of the trees were changing colors, but when I saw one like this it made me wish we'd delayed the trip 2 or 3 weeks. It was absolutely beautiful!

Me & Mom in Lousiburg Square.

I have no idea what building this is but the architecture was stunning. We don't get to see buildings this old in many places in the US!

A tribute to our favorite restaurant, Legal Sea Foods. We ate here 3 times + 1 additional late night trip for the oh so delicious Boston Cream Pie. I gained 5 lbs. on this trip, and no, I'm not just being a girl.

The Old State House - the balcony you see is where the Declaration of Independence was first read.

31

Turning 30 wasn’t hard for me for age purposes – it was very emotional in other ways but that’s another story for another day.  I am now 18 days away from turning 31 and up until today I haven’t given it a second thought.  But now, well, I want to cry.  I have no idea why.  I am perfectly content and blessed beyond what I could have even planned out for my life.  And speaking of planning, that’s exactly what I think this is about.  I have always felt like a pretty easy going person but I’ve noticed that like most people, I do have expectations and plans for myself even if I don’t consciously acknowledge them.  I try to stuff them, I try to dissuade them and sometimes I sincerely think I’ve packed them so far down that I’ve convinced myself that they’re not there.  But THEY ARE THERE.  And sometimes I think they’re ONLY there because I am comparing myself to someone else or to a standard that I’ve made up in my mind.  And somehow in the midst of comparing myself to that person, their circumstance or my own impossible fantansy idea, I have completely robbed myself of any piece of joy & contentment that I have…and I have a lot to be joyful about.  I mean perfect example, my last post was about being debt free. 

Ok so obviously I’m emotional but that’s why only about 3 people have my blog address right now so I’m limited in the amount of people I spread my emotions to.   Anyway, back to being 31.  I love that number…I mean really. I LOVE odd numbers and I think I usually have my better years on the odd ones.  (Oh that’s so fitting!)  Seriously, when I think rationally about my 31st year, I am excited and thrilled to be on this ride, and it’s just a complete bonus that this isn’t even my real home.  I’m not going to go there right now because I don’t feel like being philisophical right now. 

For a long time I was spinning my wheels trying to live up to an idea that I had in my mind and what I thought others expected from me…what I should do professionally, how I should look, the type of personality I should have, I could go on and on.  I got to a place where I didn’t even know what I liked anymore.  Who the heck am I anyway?  Does anyone know what I mean?  You know that scene in My Best Friend’s Wedding where Julia Roberts tries like 9 different types of eggs and she finally figures out which one she REALLY likes?  I went through several years when I was trying out all the different egg styles. Well anyway in case you’re wondering, I really prefer Strawberry Cheesecake ice cream by Ben & Jerry’s to eggs any day.  I really like riding my bike and reading.  I really like helping people and meeting their needs.  I really like products by Paula.  And I really like my life, even in 18 days.

Debt Free!

I was trying to figure out what I wanted to write about in my first real post.  So here it is…today a draft will come out of our checking account to pay our FINAL debt payment.  Yea! We’ve been working on paying off school loans and cars since we got married which was around $88,000 at the time.  Judson sent me the confirmation email on Friday.  It popped up on my screen as I was leaving a message on someones voice mail and I completely lost my train of thought!  Wow!  We’re so excited, and most of all, so grateful. There were times when I thought we were crazy for putting everything into paying these things off instead of just paying the minimum amount.  Even when we paid #1 off we both moaned when we took a harder look at #2 which happened to be twice the amount.  Boo.  But sticking with the plan was worth it.  If you’re in the same position I’m telling you that it’s really worth it to take a realistic picture of where you are and just tackle it. 

One of the best decisions we made early on was to meet with a couple from our church to go over our budget and help us develop a plan for paying off the loans as quickly as possible. Two primary things came out of that meeting.  One was to try to get rid of our Sallie Mae loan - because of the way the interest was accruing we weren’t even getting to the principal every month.  The second thing they encouraged us to do was to keep renting our one bedroom bungalow and wait on buying a house.  So we set off to take a personal loan against the equity in our cars and got out of Sallie and into a better interest rate.  And I stopped dreaming about a house and started praying about being content with where we were (but don’t you worry those dreams are still there!).

There is a book in the Old Testament of the Bible called Psalms, and every time I read the Psalms I walk away encouraged. Well in Psalm chapter 13 vereses 5 & 6, King David writes ”But I trust in your unfailing love.  I will rejoice because you have rescued me. I will sing to the Lord because he has been so good to me.”  About 3 months ago I memorized these 2 verses, feeling drawn to the confident statement of faith & security in God’s love.  But recently the phrase because he has been so good to me has frequently come to mind.  When Judson and I started this whole ordeal I felt overwhelmed and selfish; it was hard not to think about all the things we could be doing with the extra cash flow.  When reality started setting in that we were in fact headed to $0, I began to feel gratefully overwhelmed.  As the cash flow comes in that we would normally ship off to a black hole ceases and instead now accrues in our checking account, I am wondering how we can be mindful of how far he has brought us and how we can celebrate his goodness in our lives.  We will ______ because he has been so good to us.  I hope we fill in the blank well.